Feb 8, 2008

The Halifax

In Josef Howard's homo erotic story 'The Halifax', a mortal picks up an unusual character at the bar - a Halifax:

"A what?"

"A Halifax. Never mind trying to remember something I know you haven't heard of. We were expunged from myths centuries ago. Halifax feed the gods. What you have been drinking is nectar."

"You're a Greek god?!"

"A demi-god, actually, like satyrs and nymphs. The gods created us to sustain them. Nectar is a waste product for us. The Christians thought the act of drinking it was the most obscene thing on earth and wiped us from your history. Never mind that most of the time it's not the least bit sexual, the necessities of the act made a lot of human scholars squeamish in the Christian era. You see, we can't get rid of the nectar ourselves, like your people do with your waste. We need it to be sucked from us, by design of the gods themselves. They wanted to make sure they didn't lose a drop. The nectar not only tastes good, it keeps the gods alive. It replenishes their power."

A Halifax literally doesn't have an asshole! I'm thinking that angels, demons, aliens, reptilians, trans-dimensional beings and Greek gods are all basically the same kind of character, just told from different mythic viewpoints, and it makes me wonder, what if Josef is right? What IF angels/aliens don't have assholes? It would explain a lot. Like the crazy rectal examination thing during alien abductions - they're examining them because they don't fucking have them!!!

Deep down, I suppose they're jealous, because they've been booted out of heaven, and they know where the key is "buried". That's why their minions in the church have worked so hard to make butt sex the Great Taboo: they don't want anyone getting into heaven through the back door!

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