Apr 30, 2007

The Illuminated Ulf

I've come to know and love Ulf art via Male Art Toons at Yahoo. He's one of the few 3D homoerotic artists who creates images that are both sexually raw and technically refined. His subjects are all massively muscled and hung, usually engaged in some sort of dominance/submission ritual. Urinals, plumbing, crew-cuts, tats and dog tags figure prominently. At the same time, Ulf textures his images with chiaroscuro worthy of Da Vinci - they almost rival medieval frescoes - maybe there are even a few secret catacombs in the Vatican holding paintings with similar themes?

I've dabbled in 3D rendering, and it's easy to make a harshly lit mannequin, but difficult indeed to create a sexy image with nuance, to get the lighting just right, the textures just so. Ulf makes it look easy, but I know the countless hours he spends.

Ulf makes me hard, but more than that, he makes me wonder. His recent renderings have a quasi-religious tone, and his images of the divine masculine go waaaay beyond "porn".

Born of This

"Born of This" is an image of a glorified man emerging from water, and a reference to John 3:5 --

Jesus answered, "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit.

"born of water" means born of a woman, in other words - like a mortal man - like you and me. Born of the Spirit refers to the seed of the Father. In other words, a "cross" between the physical and the spiritual. Hmmm, cross... where have I seen that symbol? Believe it or not, another homoerotic bible lesson! Thanks Ulf!

Apr 21, 2007

Don't Ask Don't Tell

I rented this movie last weekend from Scarecrow Video. It's a redubbed parody of the 1954 B movie "Killers in Space", starring Peter Graves. This time around, the aliens want to turn everyone on earth gay. I love sci-fi and I'm queer, but even I couldn't wait for it to be over.

It would have been a great 10 minute sketch.

Apr 17, 2007

The Second Adam

Click image to enlarge.

For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive. --1 Corinthians 15:22

Jesus is called lots of things in bible, and one of them is "the second Adam". He is the one who transcends the mortal nature of the first Adam. Adam - the primary - gets blamed for a lot of crap, and yea, he did actually eat the forbidden fruit of his own "free will", but it had to be a set up. Why the hell was Satan even snaking around in the garden? Did he sneak in under God's nose? I doubt it.

Near the end of AKA's homoerotic muscle opus Transform (see also Brothers In Arms), a new character makes his entrance. His name is Adam, and he's a "test tube baby" - being the cloned result of two Transformed (perfected) men - no women involved. Remember that... no women. He's quite a precocious youngster, growing to maturity in just three days - an icon of male sexual power and beauty that surpasses even the Transformed men. Adam becomes Transform - personified.

The intensely beautiful man smiled. Carlos felt like falling to his knees in worship.


He bowed his head slightly and his smile grew incandescent. "In the flesh".

Adam's face was etched with knowledge and wisdom. "I am Transform. I am all men. I am with you, and of you, and for you. I am the instrument of change, the agent of perfection."

Huh... the Transformed Adam sound a lot like this guy:

Jesus said, "When you see one who was not born of woman, fall on your faces and worship. That one is your Father." --The Gospel of Thomas

Apr 11, 2007

Adam and Steve

Adam and Steve is one of a growing body of films written by gay men that obliquely and cleverly discuss both religion and queerness, without marginalizing either. Written, directed and starring Craig Chester (Adam) it also stars Malcomb Gets as Steve, and Parker Posey (who I love ever since 'Best in Show').

The film begins with a scene (a one night stand from hell) that echos the "Fall" - and results in a condition of guilt, shame and fear. A great deal of the movie's appeal is about the overcoming of this condition. Along the way we get cute romantic comedy and a sexy gay country/western dance scene - but at it's heart, it's a bible lesson.

Adam and Steve are archetypes of struggle and triumph. They represent all gay men, on the front lines of the struggle against fear and shame.

And then, the intriguing story line of Adam's family. Adam Bernstein is Jewish, and his family suffers under a curse - the Bernstein Curse. Bad shit follows them like a dark cloud - his dad's in a wheelchair, his mom has a broken neck, his sister - oy, don't ask. They suffer under the curse, and yet, when Steve asks them about it - how can they live with it?... Adam's father gives the most graceful and wisest answer I can imagine. And when Adam and Steve are finally married - when guilt, shame and fear are overcome in a holy marriage, then Adam's father leaps out of his wheelchair in joy, the curse of Bernstein overcome.

If Adam's family is an archetype of all Jews, then all Jews are an archetype of the whole human race, and Adam, the second Adam - is an archetype of the overcomer - the redeemer.

So it is written: "The first man Adam became a living being" ; the last Adam, a life-giving spirit. --1 Corinthians 15:45

Apr 7, 2007

Jackpot - It's Your Turn

'JackPot' by Max Mann is a type of erotic story that pushes plenty of my buttons: homoerotic love, muscle growth, transformation... those I always love, but it also has a mythical, dreamlike quality, and it is at the cosmic intersection of male lust with ancient myth where I dig for gold.

Jackpot is the story of Tracy, a young gay man with a transgender name, who is on a journey to begin a new job and a new life in "Reyes" (opposite of Re"no"). After crossing the border into Nevada, he chances upon a strange slot machine in a small town bar/restaurant. He notices that the slot has the usual "steel rod" (rod of iron?) replaced by a bodybuilder's muscular arm. This slot had no place to insert money (Mammon) and nobody ever played it because it never paid out, according to the bartender.

Tracy is drawn to the machine, not because of a desire for easy money, but simply because of the muscular arm. He pulls it, and lo, he hits the jackpot! What exactly the jackpot is, Tracy has no idea. Gold coins didn't pour out, just a promise that the prize would be received in 24 hours. How totally biblical is that? Jehovah makes a grand and rather mysterious promise, and then says wait, just have patience, just a little longer, you'll be really glad that you held out!

Tracy leaves the bar, mystified about the nature of the prize, and continues on his way (after splitting the prize, whatever it may turn out to be, with the bartender).

Upon arriving at his destination, Tracy checks into the Parthenon hotel and casino (The house of the gods), a small hotel with "extended stay" rooms. Tracy is given the keys to the "Zeus" suite, which happens to be the penthouse, and Tracy knows he can't afford it. But somehow, it all seems pre-arranged (pre-ordained?) and he takes possession.

Oddly enough, every clerk, busboy, and guest he meets have similar transgender monickers. And even more strangely, they all begin to morph into homoerotic, heroic, fantasy men, as soon as Tracy looks at them. The morphing of everyone at the hotel into massively muscular and hung, yet compliant and subservient erotic icons continues, as Tracy enters the casino, and sits down to play a hand of blackjack.

He walked over to an empty blackjack table where a middle-aged man, Pat from Brooklyn, greeted him with a wink. Tracy put down one-thousand dollars, and watched the mustached gent slowly expand as he counted the money first, then the chips. He pushed them to Tracy, who placed a one-hundred dollar bet. Pat dealt Tracy a king and jack. Tracy blinked and shook his head. Even the men on the cards had grown muscles! Pat turned up eighteen. Tracy smiled as he watched Pat's delts rip through his shirt. More hands followed, each one won by Tracy. He thought it was like watching Pat play strip blackjack as clothes disappeared until the blue-eyed, grey-haired adonis was nude behind the table.

Then Tracy received two unfamiliar cards. Also musclemen wearing crowns, but in the upper left corner was the letter P. Princes? He asked Pat, "Are there any queens in the deck?"

Pat asked, "What are queens?"

"You know, the women with crowns..."

"What are women?"

The Parthenon hotel has become a homoerotic fantasy, a world of nothing but hot, horny and willing men. As Tracy continues to play...

Tracy quickly sobered as he grew fearful. What was happening to him? To them? Was it everywhere? He wanted to escape, turn back time, do something...

"It's your turn."

Tracy waved his hand over the cards. Pat shook his head and again said, "It's your turn."

Then another man said it, and another, and soon the entire floor was chanting, "It's your turn." Tracy stumbled from his chair as he tried to run, but a wall of musclemen soon encircled him. His heart raced as he panicked. He tried covering his ears to no avail. Blood and adrenaline rushed through his body. His vision blurred.

Tracy grows into the image of an erotic god, and becomes master of his own domain.

And he also knew that the world outside the doors of the Parthenon was still intact. But here stood the foundation for a palace, a temple, devoted to the perfection of man as deemed by Tracy. --Max Mann

"In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you." --John 14:2

Many mansions... many Parthenons, many realities?

The Book of Enoch says that the whole reason man was created was to replace the original "Sons of God" (the Watchers, the angels, the Divine Council, the ancient "Gods"). I suspect the angels had become like haughty movie stars - they cost too much, smoked too much, performed too little, and basically, had become royal pains in the ass. Finally, God had enough, and decided to "offshore" the work to a new act - Adam. I guess he figured he'd create a class of being that would be grateful for the work. So Shazam! Man shows up on the scene: the cosmic Mexican laborer, the union buster, the scab.

That, of course, totally pissed off the angels. Hell hath no fury like an angel scorned, or something like that.

It is our inheritance to eventually step into the role of "Sons of God" that the original sons corrupted and defiled. That's the plan, the script. Now, at long last, is the waiting finally over? Has the 24 hours elapsed? Is it "our turn"?

Apr 4, 2007

Christ Getting In Shape For Second Coming

Sometimes The Onion is just too weird:

HEAVEN—Emerging from a grueling 90 minutes of cardiovascular exercise and light lifting for tone, Son of God Jesus Christ said Monday that He is "definitely on track" to achieve peak fitness condition for the Second Coming.

"I can't lead the armies of Heaven looking like some flabby slob," said Christ, who declined to disclose His "before" weight. "That guy can't be the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. The faithful want a Messiah they can truly fear, not someone who's afraid to take off His shirt in public."

I wouldn't mind being his workout partner.

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