Sometimes The Onion is just too weird:
HEAVEN—Emerging from a grueling 90 minutes of cardiovascular exercise and light lifting for tone, Son of God Jesus Christ said Monday that He is "definitely on track" to achieve peak fitness condition for the Second Coming.
"I can't lead the armies of Heaven looking like some flabby slob," said Christ, who declined to disclose His "before" weight. "That guy can't be the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. The faithful want a Messiah they can truly fear, not someone who's afraid to take off His shirt in public."
I wouldn't mind being his workout partner.
1 comment:
Check out Jesus Christ, King of the Juice. ;)
Post a Comment