A Proper Renaming Ceremony

Oliver left, Ginger right

I’ve lately been reading about the grave consequences of renaming a boat without seeking the proper blessings of the deities involved. The ancient mariners believed that sailing vessels actually contained souls, and were thusly treated with similar rituals and respect. And we all know that the “Christening” is a ritual that goes way back. Your name is important. It just is.

Which made me think.... (uh-oh) It occurred to me that Var and I may have committed a similar sin with Ginger, our little rescue terrier. You see, we renamed her. And in blind ignorance of the fates, we may have committed a serious error in the eyes of the Gods who look after little terriers. We never “denamed” her. So now Ginger has two names, one reflecting her prior, unhappy state of affairs, and her new one. She does seem to have a split personality, and Ginger sent Varen to the hospital a few years ago with a vicious bite on the hand. Was this perhaps the result of an Akashic bookkeeping error? Perhaps the Gods need to be kept in the loop.

So I’d like to set the record straight, and conduct a proper renaming ritual for the terrier now known as Ginger. According to John Vigor, such a ceremony should consist of five parts: an invocation, an expression of gratitude, a supplication, a rededication and a libation.

1. Invocation - for sailing vessels, the Gods involved are obviously Neptune and Aeolus, but for dogs... I’m not sure. Canis Minor is commonly represented as one of the dogs following the constellation of Orion, the hunter. Ging is definitely a hunter, and also small. So perhaps Orion? She is also a terrier, which means “going to ground”, or “earth”, so perhaps Gaia needs to be CC’d on this? I’d love to hear opinions on this.

2. Expression of Gratitude - Mostly thanks for keeping Ging safe, and also for Varen, since the hand wound was able to be cured.

3. Supplication - according to Vigor, we should have asked for the previous name to be struck and removed from the records before we renamed her. Oops! Well, maybe better late than never. We unfortunately don’t know her previous name, so that will require the Akashic record librarians to conduct a card catalogue search. How long should we allow for that?

4. Rededication - present the vessel for blessing with another name.

5. Seal the pact with a libation. With boats, this is champagne (the finest you can afford) poured over the bow. All of it, don’t take a sip. And this is where I hit on a bit of a conundrum. Because if this is an offering to Orion, then he’s going to want red meat... and we’re vegetarian.

At first, this was a bit of a problem, but I realized that I already purchase meat dog food for the dogs. And I recall the story of Cain offering a displeasing sacrifice... So I think that maybe this time, Orion will be getting red meat. After all, I don’t need to eat it. And in a funny way, I’m sacrificing something too... my vegetarian principles.

So here’s a question of etiquette: Should Ging eat the red meat, or should it be offered only to the Gods? I see that in religious tradition, the first offering is to the Divine, and then the people can chow down. So maybe the first meat goes to Orion, but then Ginger gets hers? I think she’d bite me if I didn’t give her a taste.

What? Me a practicing Witch Doctor? I got my license online.

From A to Zombie

One of the odder symptoms of looming Kosmic Konsciousness is the Zombie Apocalypse. This little meme seems to have really struck a nerve, I find little references to the ZA all over the interwebs, in places I would never expect. I suspect that zombies are just another colorful egoic expression of ego-death - they are the “un-dead” aren’t they? Can’t kill what’s already dead, the ego-dead are born again!

I like this shirt: Titanz. with a Z and a Superman diamond AND a thunderbolt! Bodybuilder is Trey Brewer. As in beer. Dionysus.

Here’s a shot of the Zombie Squad on the front lines, defending the ego. Considering that their logo can be read as “ZeuS”, I figure the Id thunderbolt has already struck?

If I Were Gay

An old video, but a goodie. I’ve finally realized that Batman (the collective awakening subconscious) spends most of his time dealing with his own erotic nature. That’s why he always gets the Joker, because he’s always dealing. Lay down your cards, bud.

Iron Sky

Sometimes I wonder about the swastika - a perfectly good solar symbol that became utterly demonized after “you know who” made it his logo. One wonders how long it will take for the symbol to be rehabilitated. In a bizarre twist of fate, some are now calling the Star of David the new swastika.





The new Iron Sky trailer reminded me of the movie 'Contact', and how the aliens in Vega received the first TV transmission from Earth, which just happened to be the opening ceremony from the Berlin Games - the 1936 Olympics. If they had come in person, instead of just sending stargate plans, I wonder if they would have all worn Nazi uniforms and swastikas, you know... just to make us more comfortable. Maybe even their starships would have giant swastika solar symbols painted on them, showing very clearly (they would suppose) that they come in peace!

The Berlin Gates

Which makes our little, deliberately polarizing, 2012 London Olympic mascots even more intriguing, considering their favorite gesture is a “sieg heil”. Gay Nazi One-Eyed Aliens. Major Tom?

Poor Bastards

Bastard: a person born of parents not married to each other. An illegitimate child.

Still revving on James Dean, who owned a Porsche 550 Spyder race car named “Little Bastard”. This rear-engined car was customized by George Barris, who later designed the Batmobile. It seems an appropriate synch because this car took James directly to Hades on Sept 30, 1955.

When Dean introduced himself to Alec Guinness outside a restaurant, he asked him to take a look at the Spyder. Guinness thought the car appeared 'sinister' and told Dean: 'If you get in that car, you will be found dead in it by this time next week.' (How Obi Wan get you get?) This encounter took place on September 23, 1955, seven days before Dean's death.

The sports car soon gained a reputation as "cursed", and we'll note that Dean raced as No. 130, or 13.

A long time ago a friend told me how homos were like some sci-fi alien spawn that gets deposited in a straight family and raised there until they reach sexual maturity, when they are compelled to seek out others of their own kind. Yikes! Funny thing is, this strange “parenting” arrangement exists not only in the realm of sci-fi.

The Cowbird is a species of small “brood parasitic” birds. The birds feed on insects, including the type stirred up by herds of cattle. In order for the birds to remain mobile and stay with the herd, they have adapted by laying their eggs in other birds' nests. The Cuckoo is the most infamous of brood parasites, with considerable mythology built around the deceptive habit.

Many have noticed how the entire human race behaves as if it were a “brood parasite” on earth, callously kicking other species out of the “nest”. It does make me wonder. What if our race really WAS seeded by some alien spore? Perhaps “Our Father who art in heaven” can be taken quite a bit more literally than even the Fundamentalists will dare.

Whose your daddy? A question that none of us poor bastards can really answer. Are we the progeny of some space-faring race, with an “Eve” in every port? Curious how James Dean made his name playing the son of an absent or disappointed father figure. Indeed, it was popular psycho-babble in the 50’s to blame homosexuality on an absent father. I think we could blame a hell of a lot more than queerness on an absent race of aliens. Talk about evading child support!

Found this sexy bastard a few days ago:

A Tribute

I think maybe Osiris just died in my neighborhood. John lived off exit 17*, and he went to church at 1717* Bellevue Way. A Facebook page made to honor and encourage him - “Get well John” - had 1700* entries.

John died after a brutal 3 year battle with cancer, and he never once gave in. He taught high school science, and he was one of those teachers who invested all he had into his charges. He also played guitar for his church - again, in order to reach the youth. Last year, John had just completed another bout with chemo, feeling like total shit, so of course he was off to play guitar for the prison inmates at the Monroe Penitentiary. That’s just who John was.

Last Saturday was the memorial service, and the church parking lot was packed, every pew was filled. I doubt I will ever see anything like it again, as long as I live. John believed in Jesus. Or in more ancient iconography, he believed in the Son/Sun of Osiris - the falcon-headed Horus. He believed in his children. Curiously, there was a great sun dog “halo” visible around the sun on that day. And since his death, there have been eagles circling directly overhead.

* According to Greek historian Plutarch, the ancient Egyptian god Seth murdered his twin brother Osiris in the twenty-eighth year of the latter’s reign, on the seventeenth day of the third month. Twenty-eight divided by 17 approximates the square root of e. If the date- setting priests were aware of this constant and wanted to express the nature of the festival by its date, they could have found no better way than to so assimilate the god’s death with the root -- or cause -- of new growth.