Aug 29, 2008

The Min In Me

I've been grooving on MIN lately, the pre-Dynastic Egyptian Creator God. He sounds a lot like YHWH:

As Khem or Min, he was the god of reproduction; as Khnum, he was the creator of all things, "the maker of gods and men". --wikipedia

Ithophallic Gods are shown with full-on erections. For me, they are truer to the idea of Creative GOD POWER than a thousand weepy Catholic icons. God isn't ashamed of his phallus like men are. It's his glory and power, his sword and scepter! Maybe that's why he's always being symbolically castrated - at least by hopeful usurpers. My cock is a Mini-Min, and I'm a MininMan! OK, enough PUNishment!

Find the Min on the Man

Min's sacred animal was a WHITE BULL and his special plant, long LETTUCE, lactuca sativa, (read Lettuce Pray) was believed to have aphrodisiac properties. Lettuce is believed to be associated with him, not due to its vaguely phallic shape, but rather to its white milky sap which is reminiscent of SEMEN.

Church back then sounds like fun: his statue would be taken out of his temple and brought into the fields, where participants would sing praises to Min and play games in the nude. Pharaoh (being Min's representative on earth) would then plant his "seed" in the earth, assuring a good harvest. Talk about performance anxiety!

Taurus IS a great sexual icon - all puffing and pawing, horny and hung... not so smart. The Bull is about as MALE as it gets. Lamborghini - famed Italian exoticar builder, names all its vehicles after prize bulls. The signature colors are "lettuce" GREEN and "semen" WHITE. Lamborghini's most famous product was the Countach (Piedmontese for 'FUCK'), and if Lamborghini isn't channeling Min, then I'm Thoth's uncle.

The flag of Piedmont, white cross noted.

The Lamborghini Countach was designed by Gandini at Bertone in 1971, and is perhaps the most iconic sports car in the world. The design was GROUND breaking (like a plow!) in its day, and still looks fantastic. I remember that it wasn't officially imported into the USA for a long time, because it couldn't meet collision safety regs - too DANGEROUS for Columbia. They finally DID make the Countach comply, but the solution was an outrageously UGLY bumper, thus removing virile sex appeal, and much of the reason for desiring the car in the first place! Male sex sorta likes looking dangerous...

Acting the FOOL for his God. From House of Vader.

Today I was perusing the magazine rack (sounds military, no?) and my BULL'S eye spies the September issue of Sports Car International, featuring the "SUPERCAR SAVIOR" - a white Lambo Gallardo. Page 22! Synch, game and match.

Ferdinand the Bull. One of my childhood favs! Ferdinand was a 'gay' bull who preferred to sit beneath the great cork tree smelling flowers, but was stung by a BEE and momentarily appeared all killer ferocious. He survived the Bull RING by refusing to be provoked... turning the other cheek.

Bully for Bugs. What a gull-a-bull! What a NIN-cow-poop! In this WB classic, Bugs (the trickster) bests the bull, and sets him up with AXLE (axis) grease, sandpaper and TNT, sending him crashing into a shield emblazoned with the Fleur-de-Lis - sign of the Merovingian BEE!

I realize I DO have a tendency to be easily provoked... may the inner Ferdinand win out.

SYNCH WINKS

Last week my HONEY was stung TWICE by BEES in the space of five minutes, while mowing the LAWN.

ADMIRE is featuring green this week.

'Ferruccio Lamborghini was a TRACTOR MAKER (used for mechanical SOWING) in Cento (near Ferrara, Italy). Ferruccio became a man with enormous financial resources and a great passion for fast and expensive cars; he owned the most beautiful cars of his time: Morgan, Jaguar, Alfa Romeo, Maserati, Mercedes and, of course, Ferrari. According to legend, the history of the Lamborghini automobile started from frequent clutch problems with a Ferrari 250: Ferruccio sought explanation directly from Ferrari himself. The answer was something like: “A tractor maker like you does not know how to use a clutch of a special car like a Ferrari”.' --Baltic Classic Cars

Ferrari presenting a perfect RED CAPE to the bull.

9 comments:

Jake Kotze said...

"On the Lam!" resonates Crowley's preternatural thingemagick..

aferrismoon said...

Lam[b] or Genie, and ...borg....
Is that what they meant to say , they worship phallus gods, not 'false' god
A phallic god = a god by extension
Last bit of droll humour - effeminate men tend to 'mince'

Cheers

Michael said...

Jake - good catch, hiding in plain sight!

Mr. Moon, droll very droll. Maybe I have a rocket (stargate) in my pocket.

Esperanto Grrl said...

Wow, that was...interesting. Frankly, I think any deity is better off with a giant raging boner.

Though a slight nit: Countach is actually Piedmontese for a sound given when an attractive woman walks by, that isn't directly translatable to any individual word in English, but is best expressed as something like a wolf-whistle.

Leave it to the Italians to not only have a word for ir, but to give it to a car.

Incidentally, I've always found it amusing that (boys especially) go through a phase where they say "man, when I grow up, I'm gonna be rich and I'm gonna drive a Lamborghini Countach!"

Michael said...

Hi EP, thanks for the Countach lessons! :-)

Michael said...

Oops, I mean EG.

indras net said...

very nice, I was wondering where you get your Egypt stuff, is it on the web? be well

Michael said...

Indras Net - Yea, the googlemeister. I've linked to some of it in the article.

anadæ said...

That reminds me, don't forget the lyrics to the thrash pioneers, The Plasmatics' "Doom Song" (RIP Wendy):

Behold, the powers of the night!
Shine, that we may see the light!
Curse, the filthy hypocrites!
Crawl, into their beds at night!
Ooze, from slimy depths below!
Scream, into their frozen brains!
Behold! The Prince of Darkness nears!
You sealed your doom!
Your time has come!
Y.H.V.H. (!!!)
So it is done!
So it is done!

Or some such. Dude! It was, like 30 years ago, emkay? You fuckin' rock, Mike, you jus' do!

Hugsamatic,
The day man-elf

Related Posts with Thumbnails