The Messiah of Tatooine

Time for another Fractured Fairy Tale from Gosporn! Tonight we're taking the Way Back Machine to a long time ago and a galaxy far away, to examine one of the pivotal characters in the Star Wars saga - and compare him to another well-known Messianic character. No, not Luke. Anakin Skywalker!

Are you ready, Sherman?

1. First off, Anakin Skywalker is born of a virgin, and do I even need to go on? Indeed, Shmi has a strong Mary vibe.

2. Anakin is from the desert planet Tatooine, a poor and primitive colony of the Republic. Jesus was from the desert Kingdom of Judea, which was considered poor and primitive by its Roman rulers, and was a client state of the Roman Empire.

3. Jesus' home town, Nazareth, was a town of poor reputation - the 'East End' of Judea. (The OTO is always calling Jesus 'the Nazarene' because it's a slur.) Mos Eisley is described as a "wretched hive of scum and villainy."

4. Anakin's spiritual gifts are recognized as a boy, and he is taken away by a Jedi Knight (Magi, 'wise man', magician) to study the ways of the Force, which echoes various extra-biblical legends about the early life of Jesus, claiming he traveled to Tibet/India/Egypt/England to study under various enlightened Masters.

5. Anakin considered himself more advanced in the ways of the Force than his elders, and Jesus was always infuriating the Pharisees with his uppity Nazarene ways.

6. Anakin assaults the (Jedi) Temple, as did Jesus when he threw out the money changers. The Knights Templar became wealthy and powerful through their banking services to royalty, and bankers are "money changers", so the comparison is quite apt.

7. The Jedi Temple is located on Courascant, AKA Jerusalem. The Jedi Temple resembles a ziggurat with Asherah poles more than the second temple, however, like many Star Wars icons and characters, what it represents shifts from scene to scene. It can be a medieval fortress, Solomon's temple, the Library of Alexandria, and most true to character, the Tower of Babel.

8. Anakin was betrayed by someone he considered a brother. Obi Wan as Judas.

9. Anakin is "reborn" as Darth Vader, and while it's not clear how long it took the Emperor to raise Anakin from the dead - three and half days is a good guess. However, Anakin didn't quit actually die, which echoes some holy grail legends about Jesus surviving the crucifixion and fleeing, perhaps to France.

"I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further."

10. Vader is consistently called "Lord" by his minions. Of course, you pray to your Lord.

Vader with his "Cardinals". Templars hate Catholics.

11. However, the most important thing about identifying Anakin as Jesus is that he is the father of Luke Skywalker - the Star Wars Messiah. Padme Amidala (Natalie Portman) is both Mary Magdalene and Princess Diana - Lucas simply skipped 2000 years of royal/reptilian inbreeding!