The Ties That Bind

Ever since the Chevrolet/Darth Vader bow tie fighter connection of Crossfire by Jake Kotze, I’ve been keeping my eye on the tie.

Bow ties are associated with formal wear and ceremony (ritual), clowns (anti-ritual) nutty professors, Playboy bunny fem-bots, Chippendale dancer boy-bots, Jimmy Olsen and Charlie Chaplain. Charlie is famous for his penguin walk, and penguins are well known for their black and white formal attire, including the bow tie:

“That foul smelling bird”.

Wasp-waisted Orion (the Hunter) is often called the bow-tie constellation, and its connection to Osiris, the god with the detachable penis, is well noted. The red giant Betelgeuse is a member, which synchs me straight into Tim Burton’s 1988 romantic horror comedy: ‘Beetlejuice’.

Beetlejuice stars Michael Keaton in (black and white stripes) as Betelgeuse, the “bio-exorcist”, and Winona Rider plays Lydia, his teen-aged “betrothed”. Michael Keaton also donned the cape to play the Dark Knight in Tim Burton’s ‘Batman Returns’, where he battles the bow-tied penguin.

And here I have an interesting anecdote:

Last fall, my partner’s father (recently deceased) and third wife came for an infrequent visit, and the subject after dinner had turned to beetle juice - or rather... Carmine - the brilliant red food coloring derived from female cochineal beetles, used in Campari. When Nancy started chanting “Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!! Beetlejuice!!!” I suddenly knew we had crossed into the twilight zone, and that perhaps I should pay attention.

Carmine is sometimes called 'beetle blood', and this week saw our man in London Ben Fairhall synching up with John Lennon. I note that the Beatles - 1 (27 #1 singles) CD cover is brilliant carmine red.

Betelgeuse is a red giant, and here we have a red dwarf: Lester ‘Beetlejuice’ Green, the comic in ‘Beetlejuice has a red shirt, who me?’ with a golden ‘giant’ making the conspicuous horny handed power signal! Now we have red and green, and apparently Osiris is green all over, so it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas... in July.

Bobby Troup warns us “Don’t forget Winona” in ‘Route 66’ , and even though Wikipedia gives this intriguing bite...

Winona is the only town out of sequence in the list. It was a very small settlement east of Flagstaff, and might indeed have been forgotten if not for the song's lyric, "Don't forget Winona", written to rhyme with "Flagstaff, Arizona."

...we’ll save Winona and Route 66 for another post.

Oddly, hot man eye candy has been placed across my path this week that is conspicuously wearing either tight black and white, or solid red Under Amour (put a sexy guy in it, on it or next to it, and my attention is always riveted. I think the Universe knows that...) I’ve also seen two ‘salad’ green Lamborghini Murciélago’s in one week, which is sorta like finding two four leaf clovers for a car guy. The Murciélago’s father is the devil, Diablo, who’s father before that was the Countach, which means ‘Fuck’. Interesting lineage.

Lamb chop

I spent the fourth of July at my parent’s - Hood Canal, AKA the Dead Sea. The folks are inveterate tennis fans, so at the canal, the American birthday has always been conflated with “Breakfast at Wimbledon”. The elite and esoteric undercurrents of this game can hardly be underestimated. This year we were treated to the spectacle of Venus Williams triumphing over her sister Serena, bringing her Wimbledon count to FIVE stars! I almost felt like fuck... that was it, Venus had her five and Wimbledon can now sink into the earth!

5/11?

The men’s finals were delayed due to rain, and featured gorgeous Rafael Nadal of Spain vs. stunning Roger Federer of Germany. Tennis players have always been fine, but these two are amazing. I perked up when they entered the TIE breaker. “Sudden death”, with the black and white striped umpire deciding who lives and who dies.

It seems that the elite love nothing better than competition, especially when it’s all rigged - “insider trading”. America, being the Masonic Dream, exemplifies this “survival of the fittest”. The unholy trinity of Capitalist business, Denominational religion and Democratic government, all modeled on the iDeal of competition - winner take all.

The disease seeps into “reality” shows like Big Brother, with even the most elemental of cooperative arrangements reduced to bitter competition. The jungle as lifestyle, Darwin’s triumph. It makes me wonder what the elite would do if ever faced with some real competition, and would I even know?

I had to stop and ponder when my 17 year old nephew and his school (of the Little Shop of Miracles) competed in a national choral competition last June where they TIED for first place! And I recently found ‘Boat Race Muscle’, by Elysiumfields, an homoerotic fantasy that involves an Oxford-Cambridge crew race, in which the competitors finish in a TIE, and then all retire to the crew house for wild homo sex.

Maybe that’s why the generals don’t like the idea of queers in the army - they suspect that deep down, we’d rather fuck than fight. Damn! Armage-Wible-Don had to be called off, on account of lust! A ‘raining men’ delay. The ratings will suffer. Or maybe not.

And finally, Francesco D’Macho, all tied up. By his free will.