Aug 19, 2014

A License to Chill

Var and I got a new car a few weeks ago. Not a real new car, but a new car for us - a 2007 Toyota. It was in great shape and we like it a lot, but there was one thing: the previous dealer had screwed in one license plate bolt so hard (probably a compressed air drill) that it was impossible to take off the dealer plate frame. I mused that they did it on purpose, because the dealer plate frame was good advertising. We stripped the bolt trying. Fuck. This would not be a big deal, except the state mandated we needed new plates by August 22, so we HAD to get that damned screw loose.

Naturally, in cases like this... I often attempt magic. It never works.

But today…

I walked downtown this afternoon - there was a weird repetitive sync of the same beat up minivan driving by me at least 3 times, and the last time it actually parked in front of me, engine idling. In hindsight it was like... OK, Zebra really wants me to notice this fucking van. What stood out was a bumper sticker that said STOP WARS in the same font as STAR WARS.

When I got back home, Varen was in the driveway, working on the cursed locked bolt in the license plate frame and I walked over to help him out, it occurred to me to try using the magic words: “May the Force be with me.” He gave me the screwdriver to turn while he turned the bolt with a wrench. He said “Use the force” right before we started. And lo, the fucking bolt finally turned!

So, using the Force, we finally got our new license plate:


There is something really weird going on. In the old days you would say “In the name of Jesus Christ” or something similar to make magic happen. If the collective subconscious is influenced by constant meme impressions and reinforcement (hence, the reason for advertising), then maybe something has changed. Maybe the collective impressions on the subconscious has shifted away from the 1500 year old dogma of the Catholic Church, and towards a modern pulp science fiction epic. I mean, “impressions” are everything in advertising, and we all know that church attendance keeps dropping, and we all know that even today, odds are that you’ll walk into a video store with Star Wars playing. It’s as if, at some time in the recent past, the Star Wars eyeballs finally exceeded the Church eyeballs. Think of it: there was one guy who stayed home from church on one fateful Sunday, but instead popped in Star Wars Episode IV, and suddenly our reality changed.

In the future will they say: “The Force is great, and Lucas is his prophet”?

Fresh memes seem to work better on the Id, and God only knows what a stale old fish the church has become. Maybe he really DID send George Lucas to shake things up.

Which is why we now say “Use the Force”, and it actually works.


NOTE: The license plate number itself is an odd sync, because Varen went to get a new plate a few days ago, but the next one up was …4966. He hates sixes, so he begged off and went again today. He asked the nice clerk if he could choose the number of his plate out of those in the stack behind her, and she responded “no, you have to take the next plate in line”. Which was 4977. Or 7777 if you like. The sevens reminded me of the “license to kill” of James Bond, 007.

Loosening a frozen bolt is all well and good, but, can the Force actually do what the bumper sticker says? STOP WAR.

I note the Twilight Language: Death in the Pope's Family today.

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