Dec 22, 2011

Space Balls

Today is either Winter Solstice or the day after, and it’s been a personal best for absolutely gorgeous syncs. I won’t bore you with most of them because they are all so personal each one takes way too much backstory to even explain, so just forget it. But one sync is special... Santa Seed.

We walk the dogs by a house that serves up a sort of “Candy Cane Lane” Christmas decoration. It’s all handmade and really fabulous, compared to the inflatable snowmen, robotic reindeer and LCD Christmas lights that now blight the land. I found this little sign: Santa Seeds.

Santa is yet another version of the divine creative force - his gifts are contained in his “sack” and he “cums" down the chimney “shaft” to deliver them. The traditions of Christmas are full of coy sexuality, from the candy canes to mistletoe to “I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus”. Homoerotic art pretty much expresses the true meaning of the season: the spirit of life, growth, and rebirth.

Santa’s “seed” is the gift of life itself. I have to say that living on a planet with some kind of death wish, that’s a Christmas card I can use right now. It’s curious that today, the media reports a strange metal orb landing in Africa:
WINDHOEK — A large metallic ball fell out of the sky on a remote grassland in Namibia, prompting baffled authorities to contact NASA and the European space agency. The hollow ball with a circumference of 1.1 metres (43 inches) was found near a village in the north of the country some 750 kilometres (480 miles) from the capital Windhoek, according to police forensics director Paul Ludik. Locals had heard several small explosions a few days beforehand, he said. With a diameter of 35 centimetres (14 inches), the ball has a rough surface and appears to consist of "two halves welded together". It was made of a "metal alloy known to man" and weighed six kilogrammes (13 pounds), said Ludik.

It’s an acorn, obviously - a metallic “seed”. Perhaps, the ID invasion has at last begun. Christ, I sound like Chicken Little. According to Disney, Chicken Little was about an alien invasion from acorn loving aliens. I sort of cut my sync teeth on that movie: One Little Slip.

I like how the media says it’s made from a “metal alloy known to man”. Yup. Relax, haul it in for investigation. Probably Chinese, look at the shitty welding. Check it out, open up that hollow interior. Trojan Horse, anyone?

Looking back at the movie poster, I see Chicken Little's "tail feather" is a stalk of corn. Osiris, planting his seed. What a gay movie.

I dunno. maybe... this will be the Christmas to re-member. Merry Xmas all, and to all a good night!

Art by the always amazing Class Comics.


Eleleth ר ק D said...

The Rabbi's circumcision on the 8th day (Christ's resurrection) is said to represent the Father communicating his phallic power to the Son.

We all realize at some point that Santa was really just our dad. There's an important lesson here somewhere.

Michael said...

Yes Virginia, there really IS a Santa Claus

It was Tim Allen of "Tool Town" who was drafted into becoming Father Christmas in The Santa Clause. When I look at the "candy cane lane" scene above, I think another name would be "Phallusville".

emile Karl said...

Here Straight Santa Claus in action :

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