God's Gym

I have a recurring sexual fantasy about a gym somewhere that's filled with nothing but hung muscle studs who spend all day and all night fucking and working out. That's my simple idea of heaven. What if that really IS heaven?

All Angels are Male

Every single angel ever mentioned in the bible is male. From fallen Lucifer to the Archangel Michael, all of them are boys. Angels live in heaven. All angels are male. Males have cocks and sperm, that's what makes them male. What do male angels DO in heaven? WHY are they male?

And for this reason I give men wives; so that they might sow seed in them, and so that children might be born by them, so that deeds might be done on the Earth. But you, formerly, were spiritual, living an eternal, immortal life, for all the generations of the world. For this reason I did not arrange wives for you; because the dwelling of the spiritual ones is in Heaven. --The Book of Enoch: 15:5-7

This passage is one where God reprimands the "Watchers" - angels who, before the deluge, took human form, and who married mortal women in order to have children. Basically, God is saying that women are His invention for a mortal world - a world where procreation is needed for the continuation of the species, but in heaven, where beings are immortal, there is no need for procreation, so no women.

What the fuck?

People who think about this sort of thing make the logical assumption that angels must be asexual, because all sex is for procreation, right? Umm... maybe not. Angels are male, and so is God the Father. If angels (and God) were asexual, they'd be neuter. There is no reason for sexual terms unless sex is present. The maleness of God and of the angels is always very apparent in the biblical narrative. The importance of the seed of the Father is a theme that can't be ignored - or at least I can't ignore it. God's a stud - the Bull of Bulls.

The "Watchers" of Enoch had one other attribute: 'privies like unto horses'. Horse hung studs! What does a big cock symbolize? Power. Productive sexual power - the ultimate power of a man. The Power of a male God is the power of his phallus. The Most High God has the biggest dick, and the right to procreate. All the other angels are less than Him. It sounds like a herd of sheep - the strongest ram has the right to impregnate the entire herd. Primal, eh?

Maybe the disobedient angels in the Book of Enoch descended from heaven with huge cocks, because it symbolized their desire for creative power, to be as God. Angels, being immortal, do not reproduce, and maybe they felt slighted that God would create beings (man) so far beneath them, yet with a power that even they - the "Sons of God", didn't possess. So they took it upon themselves to descend onto earth, to forsake their spiritual form for flesh, and to beget children. The history of these angels and what became of their children is the main subject of the Book of Enoch.

Of all the primates, Homo Sapiens have by far the hugest dicks. Way bigger than gorillas, even. If men are super hung compared to other primates, then maybe it makes sense that angels are super hung compared to men. And maybe these angels, when they keep to their proper places in heaven, when they don't defile themselves with women, are busy worshipping the Cock of Cocks, and they appreciate the big dicks God gave them, and share the joy between each other, in the Gym of Heaven.