The Narcissus Ritual

What do you see?

Dream - morning of 3/14/15 (pi day)

I was a low level office employee in some downtown office tower. I was eating lunch at my desk, which was completely empty but had a huge mirror wall in front. Nothing on the desk but my lunch, and that mirror. I was examining myself intently, as I ate. Watching my mouth move while chewing, my facial expressions, attire, eyes, hair, etc. I was mildly critical but had an overall approving attitude about what I saw in the mirror. I had to admit that I was pretty handsome in a British public school kind of way, about 25, and my hair was really great - longish, medium brown, soft and with just enough wave to keep it from hanging limp - my best feature. I wondered if I shouldn’t get a haircut because it was getting a bit shaggy.

After I awoke I wondered what was that all about? Is that my job? Literally my “DREAM JOB” - to stare at myself in the mirror? Can’t get more Narcissistic than that!

In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a hunter from Thespiae in Boeotia who was known for his beauty. He was proud, in that he disdained those who loved him. Nemesis noticed this behavior and attracted Narcissus to a pool, where he saw his own reflection in the water and fell in love with it, not realizing it was merely an image. Unable to leave the beauty of his reflection, Narcissus drowned. Narcissus is the origin of the term narcissism, a fixation with oneself. ~wikipedia

There is certainly a bit of Narcissus in every gay man, often times more than just a bit. When the object of your desire is the same sex as yourself, the confusion between subject and object can become rather acute.

Later that day, Var went with a friend to go hiking out on Dungeness Spit, and they came upon this old abandoned house sitting alone in a field - a field plentiful with daffodils - AKA narcissus.

Someone had placed a vase of freshly cut daffodils on the front porch, but it had blown over in the wind. They wondered who had done it and why, and and a shiver went through them both.

Varen approached the house to examine, and he righted the overturned vase on the porch. He peeked inside the ruined house to discover a face staring back at him. Perhaps staring back through the mirror.

What do you see?