Dec 25, 2012

Santa, The Time Lord

Santa is a Hexagon Time Lord. He lives at the North Pole, where it's all ice and snow, and where time has no meaning. The sun never rises or sets, no way to mark the passing of days.

Santa travels the frozen dimensions of space-time in his sled. A sled functions by the friction of ice under the runners, melting the snow to create a slick film that permits effortless gliding. This may be the real secret of the 33rd degree Freemason. See Tom Slick.

I've long been fascinated by ice yachts - wind powered sleds. every sailboat, whether it sails over solid or liquid water, operates by harnessing opposing force vectors. It is an elegant mode of travel that requires no heat, combustion, or smashing of atoms.

Winner Gets Time Control

Harnessing the twins
Santa is guided by Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer (his penis, or Eros) but his motivational energy comes from giving gifts. Or rather, both gifts and coal - he knows if you've been naughty or nice. It would appear that Santa's sled is powered by harnessing the twin pillars of duality - good and evil, mercy and wrath.

I imagine Santa harnessing the powers of both good and evil within, thus propelling his consciousness through the various and limitless dimensions of possibility. Apparently, the only way to fly is to give it all away.

Fortunately, my pillar of selfishness is extremely well developed. One can only imagine the time warp created by giving the most meager of gifts.

Merry Christmas, all. And let us not forget that space-time sledding is a sport to be enjoyed all year long, not only at Christmas.

One Caveat: Giving in secret may multiply time-warp effect exponentially. Use with caution.

1 comment:

John said...

Strangely enough, there were two prominent and roughly contemporary Tom Slicks, one a Federal judge and the other the Yeti-seeking adventurer written up by Loren Coleman. Cartoon Tom is pretty obviously patterned after the latter. One must wonder what Law-Slick thought about Ice-Slick.

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