Jan 7, 2007

Young, Dumb, and Fulla Cum

There's a certain theme in homoerotic muscle fiction that imagines a man becoming immensely muscular, hung and sexual, while inversely becoming intellectually dimmer.

Apollyon by Absman420, is the story of one man's introduction to a secret gym where every member injects a serum before working out, which causes an intense sexual drive that translates into workout intensity and muscle growth. The serum make a man grow into an immense bodybuilder with supernatural sexual powers, but it has a side effect - the subject loses IQ every time he works out.

David Devolving by FanTCMan is the story of a successful, young and handsome straight man who comes under the spell of a magical personal trainer who transforms him into a massive bodybuilder who is too dumb to do anything but get off on his own body and others who appreciate it.

In a way, these stories are analogs of the eternal "coming out" story. The moment of truth when every gay man decides to either go with the feeling, or live forever in society's "straight" jacket. To obey his cock - or his mind. Even more than that, these stories question the assumption that the highest state of being is found within the mind, or more precisely, within the intellectual, conscious mind.

Eastern spiritual tradition teaches that the goal is to quiet the conscious mind, to stop its mad and incessant chattering, so that our true nature may be discerned. Meditation is the Eastern path to the mind's "off switch". I admire people who have the discipline to spend hours sitting with painfully crossed legs while thinking about not thinking and yet... I wonder if there isn't another path? Maybe an off switch within handy reach, and one that doesn't require the dedication of a monk?

Most guys I know have masturbated for as long as they can remember. We're compelled to do it, we can't help it, and we do it all our lives. We don't know why we do it, we just know that it feels good. When we don't do it we get anxious and sort of depressed. I think this is by design. Men are designed to need to cum, and even though the continuation of the species is the obvious answer for that, I think it goes a bit deeper.

Jerking off is a way to stop the roar of our own mind - a way to shut it down. The easy access off switch! Stroking temporarily releases us from the prison of our own ego, and in doing so, it becomes a gateway to the super ego - a little slice of heaven on earth. That's why I think that erotic art is so amazing, because it's made with a pen in one hand and a cock in the other. When our own brains quit justifying and judging, they can become conduits of wonderful stuff.

But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. - Matthew 6:6

I remember when I was a kid, how I'd hope that Jesus wouldn't catch me masturbating when he finally returned, because I was always doing it. If I'd only known.


Anonymous said...

Finally! Someone else who has serious thoughts on this stuff. I can't say that I agree with your masturbation/prayer/meditation connection but it's an intriguing idea. I've always found that even thoughit can be nice to masturbate for the sake of masturbating, it's more enjoyable if I have my brain going on some hot fantasy. Fantasies which usually take a life of their own unless I steer them back onto the general sex route.

Michael, are you posting on the Evolution Archive? I hope you are or will do so soon. I started a thread just to get people to start reading your blog. I hope you get more comments soon!


Chris said...

And comments he gets!!
Deep thoughts are sexy; I totally wooed a (fellow) boy the other night with Walt Whitman. It was actually kinda sexy.
ANYWAY, I like your theory; it feels slightly generalizing--like maybe not every guy jacks off to silence his brain for a moment--but still an interesting thought.
(though i'll randomly note that 'super-ego's not totally our friend--it's a self-destructive internalization of external authority figures/chastisement, according to freud...)

Steve said...

Wow, what an amazingly enlightened and enlightening viewpoint. I think you could be onto something. Although when I'm masturbating, my brain is far from quiet, there are times when I reach a (perhaps) trancendental point, and time just melts away.

Sounds a bit like I'm saying I lose track of time when I'm masturbating (heh) - but what I mean is that at the point of reaching 'the edge' I sometimes feel completely outside of time...

Or am I just rambling ;-) ? Anyway, just visiting from MGS and so far finding your writing to be really interesting. Cheers ;-)

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