Showing posts with label Narcissus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Narcissus. Show all posts

Aug 16, 2015

Eye Wide Shut

Dream: I was near the water or perhaps on a boat and could dimly see a huge submarine below - a gigantic shadow moving beneath us. If I closed one eye or the other, I could suddenly see the submarine very clearly, even all the details, but only with one eye closed. It had some blue masking tape stuck to it in places. Don’t remember much else - there was some kind of military operation going on, with subs, a cruise missile and even a trimaran heading out. Red October was vaguely mentioned. I think they were heading east.

The submarine and the trimaran are obvious “subconscious” symbols for me, I’ve blogged about them for years - see Nemo, Neptune, trident, etc.

Lately I’ve been tracking personal “one eyed” syncs, and I say personal vs. mass media because the one-eyed pop star has become such a cliche of Illuminati, MK Ultra conspiracy theory that I hate to even mention it.

Nonetheless, the idea that my experience of reality is a mirror between the conscious and subconscious aspects of my mind has a lot of pull for me, where the concepts of Narcissus, reversed text, palindromes and backwards masking meet at the Looking Glass. So when my subconscious tells me to look at myself with one eye, I listen.

When I was a kid I saw a TV sci-fi movie about a voyage to an identical earth that was in orbit around the sun, 180° from our current position. In other words, the planet was invisible to us, because the sun always stood directly in between. The only way you could tell which earth was which was by the writing - all the signs on anti-earth were written backwards, in all other aspects they were identical. I've tried to find it again but so far no luck. It may have been British.

Yin and Yang, Christ and Antichrist, matter and dark matter. A fundamental principle of our universe is duality, nicely represented by the mirror. Many people yearn for an end to the illusions of duality, that we might all be “one”. I’m not so sure. Every sailor knows that his boat only goes when he learns to artfully pit wind against wave, or air against water. The forces in opposition and in balance create effortless forward motion, out of balance is a disaster for ship and crew.

To every action there is always opposed an equal reaction.
- Newton’s Third Law of Motion

Perhaps we currently have way too much of One, and not enough of the Other. The forces of Yin and Yang are out of balance. Who will bring balance to the Force?



As a curious aside, the online homoerotic writer’s forum “Narcissus Cursed Men Collection” closed this week. Definitely heading through the looking glass, eyes wide shut, or not.

Mar 15, 2015

The Narcissus Ritual

What do you see?

Dream - morning of 3/14/15 (pi day)

I was a low level office employee in some downtown office tower. I was eating lunch at my desk, which was completely empty but had a huge mirror wall in front. Nothing on the desk but my lunch, and that mirror. I was examining myself intently, as I ate. Watching my mouth move while chewing, my facial expressions, attire, eyes, hair, etc. I was mildly critical but had an overall approving attitude about what I saw in the mirror. I had to admit that I was pretty handsome in a British public school kind of way, about 25, and my hair was really great - longish, medium brown, soft and with just enough wave to keep it from hanging limp - my best feature. I wondered if I shouldn’t get a haircut because it was getting a bit shaggy.

After I awoke I wondered what was that all about? Is that my job? Literally my “DREAM JOB” - to stare at myself in the mirror? Can’t get more Narcissistic than that!

In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a hunter from Thespiae in Boeotia who was known for his beauty. He was proud, in that he disdained those who loved him. Nemesis noticed this behavior and attracted Narcissus to a pool, where he saw his own reflection in the water and fell in love with it, not realizing it was merely an image. Unable to leave the beauty of his reflection, Narcissus drowned. Narcissus is the origin of the term narcissism, a fixation with oneself. ~wikipedia



There is certainly a bit of Narcissus in every gay man, often times more than just a bit. When the object of your desire is the same sex as yourself, the confusion between subject and object can become rather acute.


Later that day, Var went with a friend to go hiking out on Dungeness Spit, and they came upon this old abandoned house sitting alone in a field - a field plentiful with daffodils - AKA narcissus.


Someone had placed a vase of freshly cut daffodils on the front porch, but it had blown over in the wind. They wondered who had done it and why, and and a shiver went through them both.


Varen approached the house to examine, and he righted the overturned vase on the porch. He peeked inside the ruined house to discover a face staring back at him. Perhaps staring back through the mirror.

What do you see?
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