The Dry Tree

One way to read the bible is to place yourself into the biblical narrative. Imagine yourself as Pharaoh, Moses, Jesus, The Prodigal Son, whoever. Play their parts over in your mind, and imagine yourself in that role. That's the power of storytelling - seeing ourselves as the actors - both the heros and the villains.

The trouble with the bible for gay men is that at first glance, it seems to be a "homo-free" zone. No gay guys, no gay sex. Yawn. Except for all the shit we've been told about - God hates fags, etc. Well, does he really? Are there really no gay men in the bible?

Faris Malik has written an academic paper that refutes that. "Born Eunuchs" - Homosexual Identity in the Ancient World makes the claim that "born eunuch" is the ancient term for "homosexual". If he's right (and I think he is) then it gives us a powerful new way to see ourselves written into the biblical narrative. Every time we read "eunuch" in the bible, We can substitute "gay man".

We Are Everywhere

We are EVERYWHERE in the bible! Who was it who threw Jezebel out on her ass (2 Kings 9:32)? Who was the prophet Daniel (Daniel 1)? Who was the first guy baptized in the Book of Acts (Acts 8:26-40)? Yup - all eunuchs! It's like "eunuch" is the secret code word that got by all the homophobic biblical translators over all these hundreds of years. Isn't that sort of... amazing? Fuck yea!

Eunuchs (gay men) found a valuable niche for themselves in the ancient world by becoming guardians and protectors of the royal household - wives, daughters, the harem. The king couldn't trust a straight guy to guard his female "property", hell, a straight guy would try to fuck them! If his seed "found purchase" in the royal "soil", it might lead to all sorts of spurious claims of inheritance on the king and his wealth. A wise king would create a situation where that sort of danger was kept to a minimum, so that was where eunuchs came in - servants trustworthy simply by their nature.

Eunuchs are employed even today for the exact same reasons. Gay men are the "guardians" of the wives of wealthy and powerful men. Legions of hairdressers, designers and decorators all cater to the vanity of wealthy women. Powerful men have no qualms about leaving their valuable "trophy wives" in the care of gay men. They know we are trustworthy, simply by our nature. "Queer Eye For the Straight Guy" is just another example of gay men in the service of straight men.

In "American Gigolo" (1980, Richard Gere, Lauren Hutton), Julian Kaye (Gere) is a male escort to wealthy and sophisticated women - including Michelle Straton (Hutton) - the unhappy wife of a local politician. There is a scene where Julian and Michelle are caught out on a "date" in public, by a matronly gossip who knows Michelle socially. She was suspicious of Michelle being found in the "unguarded" company of such an obviously handsome and virile young man. Julian immediately puts on an outrageous gay act, pretending to be Michelle's gay interior designer. The ruse worked perfectly... the snoop was completely disarmed. She well understood that a gay man poses no threat.

The ancient "guardian" programming runs deep. Some homoerotic fiction posits a gay man witnessing the rape of a virtuous woman and then becoming the vehicle of justice - turning the tables on a rapist as only another man really can.

The Promise

It makes me wonder. It's only obvious that men are the rapists of this world. Men care only about building their portfolios, their "empires" - to hell with anything and anyone that stands in their way. The whole natural world is a battered witness to that. For a long time gay men have served these rapists, yet have never been included in the spoils - because inclusion means inheritance, and gay men are a dry tree. Are we truly left out in the cold, or does God have a place... even for us? Maybe even especially for us?

...And let not any eunuch complain, "I am only a dry tree." For this is what the LORD says: "To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose what pleases me and hold fast to my covenant - to them I will give within my temple and its walls a memorial and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that will not be cut off. -- Isaiah 56: 3-5

I wonder, what is better than a son or daughter of God?

Meat Men

This sketch is well loved, as you can tell by the wrinkles. Three (or more) overtly muscular and hung dudes, a hot, steamy, male only atmosphere, in a situation pregnant with erotic possibilities. All the guys are devouring the big stud in the foreground with their eyes, and he knows it. I do too. I look at his big meat, his tube steak, and I know I want it. I just do.

Man's World

FanTCMan is a writer who has developed a consistent erotic muscle growth theme - you'd probably find the plots tediously repetitive if you didn't find them hot (which I do - FanTCMan never fails to get me off). He essentially tells the same story over and over, only the names, locations and details are changed. Somehow, it's endlessly erotic.

Myths work in the same way - stories that keep retelling themselves - the tales of Hercules is retold as Superman. The legend of King Arthur is retold in the Lord of the Rings, and then again in Star Wars. We love these myths, and the endless retelling of them. The bible does it too, telling stories that repeat themselves (the younger brother is blessed over the elder, etc.) over and over, with only the names and details changing.

Man's World is the story of an alien invasion. All the men on the planet are led away to become sex slaves to the new invaders, except that they're all made to like it! The characters are two normal (straight) teenage boys who resist the invasion, so they're put into a cell together, with nothing to do but watch gay porn all day and night on the huge monitors, and listen to a strange recorded message that repeats itself over and over:

"You're a man of muscle of muscle and sex. You are your cock. You are your muscles. You are driven by your sexuality. You need nothing else. You want nothing else. You need to grow. You are a total expression of your masculinity. You can let go of everything else. Let go. Grow. You want your cock to be huge, masculine, powerful. It is everything. Your testicles rule your mind, make you grow. You need to be huge, to excite, to let go of everything but your sexuality. You want nothing else. Let go. Grow."

The only items in the cell are two hypodermic syringes, each loaded with the liquid that will turn the boys into massively muscled, horse hung gay fuck machines. Eventually, the boy's wills cave in, and they take the shots. Very hot fucking ensues.

In Hinduism, Samsara is seen as ignorance of the True Self, Brahman, and thus the soul is led to believe in the reality of the temporal, phenomenal world. The state of illusion is known as Maya. The bible calls this illusion a deception, and it is personified in Satan - the deceiver. Satan is said to be the ruler of the earth (but not the ruler of all). which means that he holds every one of us in a state of Maya, of illusion. We don't see the true nature of the world or of ourselves - especially ourselves. it's as if we're held in a kind of prison, a prison in which we can't even see the bars. Like any good 12 step program, the first step out of this perceptual prison is to acknowledge that it even exists.

"...the kingdom of the father is spread out upon the earth, and men do not see it." --Thomas 113

In a world held completely in Maya, there is no end to the possible mischief. We're easily turned around and made to love evil, and to despise what is good. We call a lie the truth, and we believe that the truth is a lie! In such an ass-backwards world, any ACTUAL reality that might appear would, to us, look totally alien. Like an alien invasion!

In Man's World, we see reality appearing in the world, on a mission of mercy. It has to break the Samsara that holds us in our state of degradation (poverty), and because we believe the illusion and not the reality, we resist. It takes considerable deprogramming for the boys to let go and take the shot, which in fact is a sort of inoculation against Maya. When the illusion vanishes, then the boys see themselves as they really are: "Men of muscle, of muscle and sex..."

"When you come to know yourselves, then you will become known, and you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living father. But if you will not know yourselves, you dwell in poverty and it is you who are that poverty." --Thomas 3

Art by Sean Platter